Diary of a Winchester
by Neurotic-16
Summary: What will happen if Dean Winchester is entrusted with a weekly journal? Only randomness ensures. Rated T for language.


**Summary: **Basically it's a concoction from boredom which consists of Dean Winchester and thoughts on Supernatural season 4. It starts from episode 1 and is a brief account of his take on things which, as you can guess means total randomness. Enjoy!

**Chapter 1: I Don't nag**

This is stupid.  
God knows why I'm going through all this and writing a lame journal, pansy asses like Sam write crap like this, the son of a bitch director wants me to channel my negative energy in a "positive" way, how about I channel my foot up his ass, yeah that seems like a good idea. He also thinks that I nag alot, me nagging? Yeah, understatement of the year, I don't nag. It's not my style

Oh, and I sure as hell am not going to let Sam know about this, he's never going to stop yanking my chain and what the hell is this about Sam having more sex scenes than me? Jesus Christ, that is so wrong! I mean, I'M the hot one; he's the nerd who doesn't get any chicks while I'M the one who's the babe magnet.

Seriously, this is messed up; I have to take it up with the director. Come on, I'm the one out of hell and he's the one banging a hot demon chick.

I surfed the web yesterday and found something out which frankly didn't make me feel any better; Wincest is my most popular pairing! God that is SO wrong because:

A) I can NEVER be gay, it's not possible. That's like saying that Motorhead is a pop band which folks is just plain wrong.

B) He's my BROTHER for crying out loud, I mean fine, him being gay is a possibility cause I've seen the way he looks at Bobby but God no, Wincest equals a big no! Especially with that gay ass hairdo of his, somebody call Moses because the Nile has parted.

And as far as Cas goes, I am NOT doing a holy tax accountant. Oh yeah, I know for a fact that as soon as Lazarus rising was aired, squeamish girls were jumping on their couches wishing for Cas to homp me or something.

Yeah in your dreams psycho fan girls!

Shooting Lazarus Rising was fun, though Ruby's new host is kind of a bitch, I know she's just playing hard to get because deep inside, every one wants a piece of some Dean pie. She's also touchy because when I went to call her for a scene I caught her reading this lame ass chick lit book. You know, the one in which this hot but mentally screwed chick falls in love with a pansy ass vampire. God knows why it's creating all the hype; I'm not even going to bother with the movie, that's more of Sam's department. Seriously, where the hell do these guys get these ideas from? Falling in love with a vampire, wow haven't heard that one before somebody call Warner Brothers cause I smell a hit, yeah right, books were never my thing anyway, comics: hell yeah. I'm totally psyched about the new Batman movie, it's gonna kick a whole lotta ass, huge fan of the comics even bigger fan of the movies.  
On a total side note; God that gypsy chick had a mighty fine ass and she wasn't doing too bad on the front either, too bad she only came for one episode. Yeah, the good chicks always bite the dust, like that Bela chick; hot and worldly acceptable except for her being a kleptomaniac and all…. Crazy girl actually had the guts to steal my aftershave…. And underwear.

Speaking of which, the director thinks I should "shed me clothes more often," it apparently raises viewer ratings, hey I love viewer ratings as much as the next guy but the way he looks at me when I do take em off, yeah I prefer not. He's a certifiable closet pervert anyway, yeah cause I found a bunch of playboy's hidden away in his room when me and Sam when to dump worms in the bed, good times. But not as fun as the time we dumped a bucket full of water on him, yup we're regular pranksters, it is fun on set with little stuff like this, Cas is always sitting in his trailer sulking, God only knows why. For an angel he really isn't a happy person, yeah he has issues, most angels are gay anyway. Come on Gabriel in Constantine was a certifiable gay! Scream over THAT, psycho fan girls! You people should learn by now that hot hunter dude plus angel never works, that relationship is bound to fail.

The crew had a meeting in the afternoon today to talk about the next episode which is about me going all Michael. "back to the future style." Yup, Cas sends me on a road trip to the past where I meet dad and mom, I'm really looking forward to it….. Except the scene where Cas apparently watches me sleep. No way in hell I'm doing that, look I'm a really adjustable guy and all but I'm no martyr, that guy just looks at me weird and no I'm not being paranoid, even Sam thinks so. So, bottom line is: I'm not and I repeat NOT going to lie down on a bed knowing at the back of my mind, that he's looking down at my beautiful form and mentally undressing me.  
I'll probably just clog him if he does.

God, I need some beer.

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End file.
